I feel really down after failed to married at 2015, and lose motivation to write anything. And since that i tried several date, but still not successful to get a girlfriend. The first date is failed because when in date i still thinking about my ex and not focused on the date. And after several failed date, i realized that every woman have that different perspective even when they sometimes act like my ex. And then i found someone who look like good candidate, and have going several date with her. But it still not successful because she just used me to buy thing for her.
And then goes again several failed date so i decided to just going around with my friends. After that i skipped date for several month, and then my friend introduce me to a girl. And i going date few times with her and i feel like it is a match. And i invite her to join with my friend to trip, and it is a fun day. But few week after that trip, her respond is bad and the shocking news that my friend is became her new boyfriend. So i feel betrayed and not want to go anywhere. So, i skipped date again several month, and just going with a few friend.
Category: Wild Thought
Thought that wondering in Deni mind which is Uncontrollable.
Happy Easter
Easter is the day to celebrated when Jesus is rise from dead, which is make the believer to be more faithful with Jesus and non believer to have a faith with Jesus. But in other meaning, the believer itself is not a believer about something that taught by Jesus. Let not talk about religion, but let see that in other perspective.
Who is more brave between people who do not have any fear or the people that is in fear that try to help people on their fear?
Who is more enjoy something between people that just do what their best at or the people that trying to do what their worst at to make it better?
Who is mature person between people that complain about some problem or people who just do something to fix the problem
If you think that is an easy choice, think again are you really what you choice. People like to think they can live freely but without their awareness they constrain themselves with social culture, other people think, their fear, or even their likeness. That is because, there is always some line people draw between their action and their belief to avoid shame, uneasiness, weird, or worst to take advantage.
Happy Easter to People Who Celebrate and for all just free yourselves from your limit.
Traffic Light Beggar
In Bali now there is many beggar in traffic light, the beggar usually child or woman with babies. Every time i see the beggar, my emotion became mixed. It is because there is feeling want to give money or not. Why is so hard just to decide that? It is because there is syndicate that using the beggar to collect money and in the end they just get home and food. Or even if they not in syndicate, it will make they become lazy and not want to work because there is easy way to get money. So by giving them money we not help them it just make the syndicate will recruit more people to become beggar, or if it not in syndicate it will make their mental to become lazy and their fortune will invite their friend indirectly to join.
In other hand i just feel want to help them a little by giving a little money. But i will always strengthened my heart and not give them money because i always say to my heart if i really care with them then just stop giving them money and someday if nobody giving money then they will disappear. Because if the syndicate not get money then they will stop recruit more and disband the beggar. Or if they not in syndicate then they will think that not is good way to get easy money and will leave this profession and hopefully they will work. So if you feel sympathy and want to help them just not giving them money. And if you really want to help them then you can help by giving them food to eat, work, or scholarship with hostel.
So i hope you would like to join me by not giving them money and someday we will not see any beggar in traffic light, and this country will be more prosperous because many young people work and develop this country. Happy Not Giving Money To Beggar.
Doomsday
There is rumor that doomsday start on 21 May 2011, 6 pm(USA time) by Harold Camping. They claim on 21 may there will be earthquake and 200 million people will be saved and go to heaven. Other people that left will be feel doomsday and suffer for 5 month until total doomsday on 21 October 2011. This event is very funny because there is many prediction come and people believe it, even worse they sell all their belonging. I think it is because people afraid to uncertainty come of death and find it pleasure to know when they death.
They not ready to death because they not prepared their heart and mind. To prepare your heart for death just tell what you feel to people your love, do what you like to try, avoid thing you don’t like to try and life to fullest of your passion. So your heart will not left any regret for not doing thing or doing thing you don’t like.
To prepare your mind for death just do good deed and avoid bad deed, so you can dead anytime if you know for sure you will go to better place at least, if you not go to heaven. So, if you already prepare your heart and mind then you will not panicked when it happen and just enjoy your time before “Doomsday” come. So just enjoy our last hour if doomsday is come because we already prepared, Happy Doomsday 🙂
Duplicity
Just now, i think life is so easy if we have our double, triple, even quartet of ourselves. What will you do if you gifted by GOD to have ability freely to duplicate and unduplicate yourself with risk to lose your energy +1 than your duplicity? if you ask that question to me, i will absolutely accept that gift. The reason is that so many event in our life left with question because we can’t attend the event that come in same time. And i’m really curious what will happen if i choose the other event? can i met with my designate wife? can i met with my designate career? can i met with my designate business? So i think it good to have duplicate of yourself to attend both event and not left your life with question.
But because we all don’t have that ability, then we need to make priority, choose and accept that choice. To accept all choice then we need to choose what is most important and left all other. Life is so easy to left you with same event that have different importance, but in the end you still need to choose and grown up with that choice. So life your life and enjoy every moment with choose what you really want.
Happy Easter Everyone.
Soulmate
Soulmate, everyone dream of get their soulmate and think it must be the one and the one only. So, if they get mate then they compare it with their ideal partner and if something wrong happen then they will think their partner is not their soulmate. Therefore they will try and try until they find someone that suitable enough with their ideal partner.
But until some time then they give up to find their soulmate and find someone that close enough with their soulmate and be together. Then they live with their partner but there something in their heart still searching for the soulmate and sometimes if they found someone better they will betray their partner to be together with someone they think their soulmate. So, they think their life will be happy but at the end it will be miserable.
So, lets change your mind about soulmate. Soulmate is more than one and soulmate is might be opposite with your ideal partner. Because if soulmate just one then what happen if your soulmate die before you met them, or why you can love for more than one person if your soulmate is the one. Or why at the first you have doubt about someone if soulmate is the one or what happen if you miss your chance to met your soulmate because you busy. There is so many reason why soulmate is more than one person.
So it is more likely you will have several soulmate and you will miss chance to met some of them or your soulmate will miss chance to met you. But if you find someone you feel attracted or love than that is your soulmate and you must try your hardest to be their soulmate because emotion can’t be explained but you had this feeling toward them so it must be your soulmate.
The reason the soulmate might be opposite from your ideal partner is because what happen if your soulmate ideal partner with other person and your ideal partner with your soulmate or why your ideal partner is change from time to time or why your ideal partner is like your copycat or what happen if because they change their character to be your ideal partner but you just feel empty from their heart.
So it is more likely you will find some of great character from your soulmate that improve your character, and you will improve your soulmate character by your character. And it is not always character that you think your ideal partner must had before met you but this is will always make you and your soulmate character growth. Because i think ideal partner will always make their character and their partner character growth.
So, what you waiting for? go find your soulmates out there and don’t doubt about them because you will not know it is until you try. Happy hunting your soulmates.
Funny Woman Thought
This is actually came from my personal experience when talk with some of my women friend but i think is funny. In Friday afternoon, me and some friend talked about fitness center near our office which is had 2 different tariff which is women member tariff is more cheaper than man member tariff. And i say that it’s exclusivity to attract more men not just women. Then one of my woman friend is not agreed that is not exclusivity but just to attract women to come fitness. Then i explain they give the exclusivity(lower price) to women and then many women came. Which is indirectly attract more men to come. So actually the fitness center is use the offer to attract more men. She still not agreed, then i explain more that even club have girl night out which is give free pass to women. And i said this promotion not just to attract women but to attract more men to come. She still arguing then i asked do you still fitness there if the price is same. She said that of course not cause she like the offer but she still not agreed that called exclusivity.
Nah, that the funny thought of women, they love to get free pass to club or lower price to become member but don’t want to called that some kind of promotion. Or it’s like when women wear sexy clothes to attract more men to look at them but get annoying if every men look at them, or they use high heel just to be looked more beautiful even it’s hurting them. So actually women love to have the attention but they being annoyed when they have the attention. And it’s funny, do you agree that women thought is funny?
Mirror Manner
There are times when we aware that everyone hates us, everyone keep distance from us, everyone pretend to be our friend, everyone talk behind us, everyone keep grudge of us, everyone not values our work, everyone think we have motive behind our act, everyone isolate us, everyone avoid to meet us and many other act. They think they can cover their act and we will not aware, but they wrong.
Usually we pretend it is okay but actually it’s not and our subconscious keep it. Next time when we see them we will react same act without our awareness and they will do the same to us. This is calling mirror act and gradually affect our relationship with them will becoming more worse every times we make contact with them. So, we know this relationship is bad but we will pretend everything still fine until some time when we thinks it’s enough. Then we will keep them away from us or we will keep ourselves away from them or we will make fake relationship.
What solution to this problem? of course it’s simple we just tell what is our feeling. But it’s not that easy because it will not resulting a good reaction. And i just proved it with one of my post and now I’ll careful when posting. Why? because people doesn’t want to hear their weakness even they know. They want their friend pretend to accept it and they will pretend to accept their friends weakness too. We learn about it when child and when we grow up we will keep our true feeling away from the other with wall, wall, and wall until someday we will know that our friends is not understand us at all. Because they just now what mask we show to them.
So, it not weird then just when we in trouble then we will know who our friend? Why? it’s simple because our friend not pretend and they know ourselves through our wall. Afraid our true feeling to be exposed that make us keep people away from our life, because it will cause more hurt when they don’t react like we hope. So, this thing make we value child, because they always show their true feeling and friendship between them easy to be bond.
To always show our true feeling is hard because it will cause problem like when we mad with our boss and we show it then it will make us fired. To surpass this problem then first we must aware it’s not okay and try to fix it. We fix it with good reaction, like when somebody avoid us then we will looking for them, or when somebody give fake smile then will give them smile from the heart. It’s will be weird for them and us then it will make them afraid but still do it because it’s gradually fix the problem. It’s easy to say but hard to implement but you must do it if you want to fix your problem.
End of the word, actually when someone avoid us, maybe we are the problem. Let’s try to fix the problem inside ourselves first. Why not just avoiding them? It’s because the problem will still occurs with the other until we fix it. So, why keep running? And even when the relationship is still broken we are not loss, and then we will find good relationship with other, because they just not know value of us.
Dress Manner
People usually wearing suit to the situation or the latest outfit model. There are many reason to do that, but i will count some of the reason like to attract the opposite gender, to make them confident, to make them comfortable, to make them look good, to show off, or just to wearing the outfit. But sometimes people can make wrong choice to be wear, and they will had wrong dress code. And because I’m not a outfit designer or outfit stylish so i will not discuss about it or telling you about good outfit? or even not telling the outfit is suit for you?
When we wearing outfit sometimes we not act properly like when we use dress but not sit properly, or sometimes we not wearing outfit tidy or even sometimes we forget to buttoned our outfit. Then we will show our private garment or even our private body without knowing that like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, or Paris Hilton. And if one of our friend tell us then we will feel embarrassment, angry, or even hate them. But actually we must feel happy because if not being told then we will show it until we aware and it’s too late.
It’s more easy if the event is happen to ourselves, but if our friend or even stranger has the outfit accident then it is become more complicated. Why? of course it is because we don’t know how they will react to our warning. And if it is happen to our friend it lot’s more easier than happen to stranger or even it’s more harder when they have opposite gender. And the problem is we must tell them or just wait they aware it themselves. There no easy answer to this problem but i think it’s better to tell them before they know because it’s will be too late when they know. But for caution then before we tell them directly maybe we can give them a signal and avoid them to become embarrass. And if they not catch our signal then we must tell them directly.
It’s a ideal act but sometimes it’s hard to do that because we don’t know people mind. And maybe it will make them think us as take a chance, or even a pervert. So, if we don’t tell them then we can enjoy the view without worry to face their reaction or if we tell them then we will face their reaction and it can be good or bad reaction. Now you know the benefit and the loss then the decision is up to you. But sometimes it’s better to go out of the scene because we afraid to make the decision. Of course, the best act is to tell them directly when it happens then face their reaction without worrying the reaction.
Love is …
Love is hard to describe but we know that exist when we looked a couple. There are many variation of love : love as a parent, love as a child, love as a friend, love as a teacher, love as a disciple, love as a couple, love as a husband, love as a wife, love as a family, and many other. When our parent worrying us when we go hiking? or when we worry about our parent when they sick? or when we go out with our friend? or when we call our husband just to remembering him to lunch? Is it love? of course that we can call that love, so what is love about? is about care, care and care.
So which is more act of love when we fullfil a request? or when we reject a request? Let’s take a deep look, when we fullfil a request we think to give them our best and hope they happy. And when reject a request we think for their good sake. So, which act of love is depend of our purpose when we accept or reject a request, if the purpose is for their good is act of love. And when the purpose is for our good is act of selfish. But they will not see is a love when we accept a request because they think it’s just a duty. And when we reject a request that just because we don’t love them anymore. However if we love them then we will let them understand theirself.
So, Love is “action that we do to somebody because we care and think of their good sake no matter what they think“