There are times when we aware that everyone hates us, everyone keep distance from us, everyone pretend to be our friend, everyone talk behind us, everyone keep grudge of us, everyone not values our work, everyone think we have motive behind our act, everyone isolate us, everyone avoid to meet us and many other act. They think they can cover their act and we will not aware, but they wrong.
Usually we pretend it is okay but actually it’s not and our subconscious keep it. Next time when we see them we will react same act without our awareness and they will do the same to us. This is calling mirror act and gradually affect our relationship with them will becoming more worse every times we make contact with them. So, we know this relationship is bad but we will pretend everything still fine until some time when we thinks it’s enough. Then we will keep them away from us or we will keep ourselves away from them or we will make fake relationship.
What solution to this problem? of course it’s simple we just tell what is our feeling. But it’s not that easy because it will not resulting a good reaction. And i just proved it with one of my post and now I’ll careful when posting. Why? because people doesn’t want to hear their weakness even they know. They want their friend pretend to accept it and they will pretend to accept their friends weakness too. We learn about it when child and when we grow up we will keep our true feeling away from the other with wall, wall, and wall until someday we will know that our friends is not understand us at all. Because they just now what mask we show to them.
So, it not weird then just when we in trouble then we will know who our friend? Why? it’s simple because our friend not pretend and they know ourselves through our wall. Afraid our true feeling to be exposed that make us keep people away from our life, because it will cause more hurt when they don’t react like we hope. So, this thing make we value child, because they always show their true feeling and friendship between them easy to be bond.
To always show our true feeling is hard because it will cause problem like when we mad with our boss and we show it then it will make us fired. To surpass this problem then first we must aware it’s not okay and try to fix it. We fix it with good reaction, like when somebody avoid us then we will looking for them, or when somebody give fake smile then will give them smile from the heart. It’s will be weird for them and us then it will make them afraid but still do it because it’s gradually fix the problem. It’s easy to say but hard to implement but you must do it if you want to fix your problem.
End of the word, actually when someone avoid us, maybe we are the problem. Let’s try to fix the problem inside ourselves first. Why not just avoiding them? It’s because the problem will still occurs with the other until we fix it. So, why keep running? And even when the relationship is still broken we are not loss, and then we will find good relationship with other, because they just not know value of us.
9 replies on “Mirror Manner”
Is it me? what did I do wrong?
ya.. u can try to make a good friendship if u have a trust or an acknowledgement to each other. if u dont have it, u will try to get it.. maybe u will try to spend ur time more than the previous time with them so maybe they will understand u, realize that there is someone around them and it is u. But if the result is they still look u invisible, what will u do?
ya..if it was me, i would try to make a good friendship but if it didnt work maybe i just make ordinary friendship with them. so everybody is happy.
i am sure u will find your best friend.
@Fajar no, is not you. 🙂
@aneke yes you right in friendship, we need trust because without it will destroy friendship. Basically i’m agree with you, but If it was me then i will try to spend time together and if not work then i will try to spend time together but find fun for me. And if still don’t work then i will become just friend with them. Thanks for your support, and i think i have find it 🙂
Thank you denisurya I need to hear this. this gives me courage. Just this week I had a friend walk away because of something I said. I refused to hate someone she and her other friends hate so it made her mad. So because I have chosen to love people and not speak evil of them I have lost friends . But maybe it is not a loss. I do not need friends who hate. I am glad I read this story because it will help me remember to be a good friend.
based on my experience, there’s no friendship with no trust and honesty.
huh..ternyata, I’ve seen only mask selama ini… wkwkwk…
@Charlotte I’m happy can help you a little
@Pibel You right but we build trust with spend time together and when there are a trust then we will be honest. so first thing to became friend is spend time together. To spend time together can be just say hi, or lunch together.
@Frandi maybe you seen only mask but maybe not because it’s just you can tell what relationship is build, 🙂
@om frand:
didn’t you also wear a mask? narcism mask.. LoL ^o^
@deni:
nice post ^^
“to have one friend is to become one’s friend” (i forgot the author)
@cyrene thank you for your good response