Wild Thought

Desperate Odor

I feel really down after failed to married at 2015, and lose motivation to write anything. And since that i tried several date, but still not successful to get a girlfriend. The first date is failed because when in date i still thinking about my ex and not focused on the date. And after several failed date, i realized that every woman have that different perspective even when they sometimes act like my ex. And then i found someone who look like good candidate, and have going several date with her. But it still not successful because she just used me to buy thing for her.
And then goes again several failed date so i decided to just going around with my friends. After that i skipped date for several month, and then my friend introduce me to a girl. And i going date few times with her and i feel like it is a match. And i invite her to join with my friend to trip, and it is a fun day. But few week after that trip, her respond is bad and the shocking news that my friend is became her new boyfriend. So i feel betrayed and not want to go anywhere. So, i skipped date again several month, and just going with a few friend.
After sometime my feeling get better, and i think it time consuming to date just with 1 girl, so tried date apps. And then i started date with several people, and there is several failed date. And then i found my Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz, and going several date with her. But after few month the respond going bad and she dropped conversation, look like she just wunderbar or probably Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand. So, i not contacted her again, and then i found some article that say “The hardest thing is not being ignored, but pretend to not care when actually care”. I found that true because being ignored when you not care is a bliss but if you care and pretend to not care is like you betrayed your feeling.
Several days going plain, and then i found article that say “Desperate odor can be smell 1 mile away”. And my head is being struck right away, and i instantly think why my date is failed, it is because after that failed to married, i desperately try to find new girlfriend, and i emit desperate odor. So, i decided that i will take thing slow, enjoy life, making new friend, and hopefully will not emit the desperate odor again.

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